Merry Christmas Everyone!
Christmas in the CCM was really interesting, not going to
lie. We had piñatas on Christmas Day and I learned the piñata song that is sung
during the piñata bashing, which is quite fun might I add. We also had two
devotionals and a Christmas program on Sunday, another three devotionals on
Christmas and the regular Tuesday night devotional, so all in all it's been
quite the few days for devotionals. Not that I'm complaining though, the
devotionals were super epic.
I also had a few really cool experiences this week. So, to
start this off I'm going to admit straight out of the gate that this past week
has seen the hardest I've had so far. I'm sure I'll have harder, but so far
this has been the hardest just trying to adjust to the new district and
everything. And this really wasn't an easy decision to make to switch
districts, and I made the decision based on the faith that I could rely on
Christ and He would help me because the only reason I had to not switch was
fear of change and fear of not being good enough.
So, this week has been a week where the blessings and
knowledge come after a trial of faith. the first thing that happened was in one
of the new missionary classes that I got to attend with my new district. In
this class, the teacher made some comment about how there are probably things
that we covenanted with Heavenly Father to do when we were in the pre-mortal
existence, when we lived with him before we came to the Earth. As the teacher
was saying this, I got this really strong confirmation that this mission that I
am serving right now is something I promised to do.
The second experience that happened was in class when we
were watching a video about the purpose of a missionary. It's a video all about
the Savior, about His Atoning Sacrifice and how nothing was easy for Him.
Nothing. He lived 33 perfect years, and did nothing wrong. He bled from every
pore and was reviled and spit upon and demeaned and yet He fulfilled the
Atonement for us. The video went on to say that since nothing was easy for the
Savior, why should it be easy for us? When you feel like you deserve a break,
when you're upset that people are slamming doors in your faces, when it is hard
to continue and it seems like its just going to get harder - Congratulations.
You have felt a small portion of how the Savior felt. This video for me was a
really great reminder that as hard as I was thinking things were, I just need
to keep working. Not put my head down and grind, but but look up, thank
Heavenly Father for all that He has given me, and then look around and work to
serve others continually.
The third happened at the Devotional Tuesday night. I wish
all of you could have been there because it was ridiculously powerful. In this
Devotional, President Bennett spoke to us about the feelings of "I can't
do it" and "I'm not good enough." And I'm not sure I'll share
everything from this devotional, because it's long, but bear with me for a
second while I try to explain this. In the Pre-mortal existence, when God was
presenting His plan to us, there was no other plan. There was only a rebellion
because Satan wanted the glory, but he didn't want us to be able to choose
things for ourselves because he didn't want to suffer for us. We all knew that
Christ was the man for the job, that He would fulfill this sacrifice, but Satan
still managed to lead a third of the Hosts of Heaven away. How? He told them
they wouldn't be able to do it. Now here's the part I loved. He didn't try to
tell those of us born in this day and age that we couldn't do it because we
were His most valiant spirits, His most valiant Children. It would have been
absurd for Him to try to tell us that we couldn't make it in this life because
we knew we could. But, in this life, without the knowledge of who we were, He's
now trying to tell us that we can't do it. We were not sent here to believe
that. We were sent here to succeed. If you think that can't do it, like I was
thinking I couldn't do this, then you are letting Satan tell you things that
you would never have believed before you were born. I know this is true.
There was so much more to that devotional, but I think I'll
leave it at that. These three experiences were the answers to my prayers last
week. All I knew is that I should do it, but I didn't get an answer about if I could do
it until this week. And now I can, and anything that is not easy is just a
refiner's fire.
I guess I should also tell you about my companion and my
district for those who I wasn't able to talk to on Christmas. She's from Puira,
Peru. She's super sweet, 21, and a convert to this church as of about two years
ago. My district is great. A lot of the time they talk to fast for me to
understand but that's getting better day by day and they're really patient with
me when I ask them to repeat things three times or have to get the bilingual
Elder to translate after the second or third time and I still don't
understand. They're also really excited to try to learn English from me, which
is kind of fun not going to lie.
Sorry for the kind of long email this week, but I guess it
makes up for the super short one last week.
Con mi amor eterno,
Hermana Rawlings
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